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Résumé Unabridged

Michael A. De Luca


Employment Agency July 25, 2020

Peoples in hiring:

I understand your time is valuable so I will keep this letter short. However, I have come to recognize that my own time is valuable, too. That is why I have chosen to provide my unabridged résumé below, detailing all of the places I either been educated or paid—that is, all of the places I have spent my time, or really, all of the places I have considered valuable. This should be a more honest reflection of my character and aspirations than any simple letter could ever achieve.

Thank you for your consideration,

Michael Anthony De Luca

Michael A. De Luca

Phone: 302.220.0748


Reagents University Law School, Wilmington, Delaware J.D. Expected: May 2022

GPA: 3.30

Honors: Dean’s List

Wesley College, Dover, Delaware B.A. Awarded: May, 2017

Major: Psychology

Minors: Human Biology, Coaching, Honors Program

GPA: 3.77

Honors: Dean’s List (7 semesters) President’s List (1 semester)

Athletics: NCAA Division III Baseball

Student Organization executive board positions:

The Midnight Roast (President/Founder) PULSE mentoring (Mentor)

Sustainable Wesley (Representative) Political Awareness Club (Vice President)

Sex Health Edu. (Vice President) Psi Chi (Treasurer)

Dodgson Vo-Tech High School, Newark, Delaware Diploma Awarded: May, 2012

Certification: HVAC

GPA: 1.77

Athletics: Baseball and football

Stanton Middle School, Stanton Delaware Graduated: June, 2008

Pleasantville Elementary School, New Castle, Delaware Graduated: June, 2005

Ashbury Preschool, Newcastle, Delaware Graduated: June, 1998

Work Experience:

National Lawyers Guild, Wilmington, Delaware 2020

Legal Observer

Took calls from recently-arrested protestors, gathered their information, and relayed that information to defense attorneys working with the National Lawyers Guild.

South Peninsula Behavioral Health Services, Homer, Alaska 2018-2019

Employment Specialist

Assisted individuals experiencing mental disabilities with finding employment. Conducted client-centered skill assessments, employer interviews, and matched accordingly. Helped clients craft resumes, held mock interviews, and conducted group mental-health exercises.

Bay Club, Homer, Alaska 2018-2019


Duties included listening to Stan talk about his six kids and political views while scrubbing gym locker room toilets, mopping floors, sanitizing work-out equipment, and returning the young boss Julie’s flirtations.

Alaskan Celebrity Homes, Homer, Alaska 2018-2019


Looked after general home affairs while multiple Alaskan celebrity families went away on vacation.

Kick It Under the Fridge, Thirty-Six Different States 2017-2019


This novel is about travel, mental health, drug abuse, dating too many women at one time, cigarettes, biology, philosophy, physiology, Alaskan hippie-magic, and grocery stores.

Salmon Fest, Kenai, Alaska 2018

Kettle Corn Guy

Sold $10 bags of popcorn from a tent, next to the lady who sold purses she made from used bicycle inner-tubes; lit fires under a giant ass metal bowl, added oil, kernels, sugar, and stirred with a giant wooden spoon until the fireworks began.

Green Clinics Laboratory, Dover, Delaware 2017-2018

Staff Supervisor

Procedural duties included: gross-tissue-diagnosis; sectioning, inking, and formalin fixing for immunohistochemistry; flow cytometry, and urinalysis. Administrative duties included implementing a standard-of-procedural model to keep up with 80+ patient load, and drafting and implementing quality-assurance systems to maintain compliance with the medical laboratory standard (C.L.I.A, C.M.S).

Frazier’s On the Water, Dover, Delaware 2016-2018


Wrote down customer orders, prepared and served drinks, corresponded with other servers about table allocation, indulged odds customer habits like letting the older female ones touch my hair, made winky-faces with certain male customers, flexed muscles and informed potential dine and dashers that I am one not-to-be-fucked-with, took all customer tips—no matter how slight—with a smile on my face.

Wesley College, Dover, Delaware 2017


“Edited” a paper for a guy & used the earnings to pay my rent, in full.

Wesley College, Dover, Delaware 2016

Tela-thon Caller

Attempted, on my alma mater’s behalf, to solicit money from old people through the phone—often non-graduates of Wesley College. Developed skills in getting yelled at, hung up on, threatened, listening to drawn-out tales from a simpler time, acting as if I knew the person the person on the phone was referencing.

Wesley College, Dover, Delaware 2016

Academic Coach

Assistant-taught one-credit course to classroom of freshman college students that were in danger of failing (>2.0 GPA). Drafted a lesson plan, and instructed using simple neuroscience concepts relating to motivation, memory, and attention-span. Used material from John Wooden and other successful figures to keep the class involved.

Wesley College, Dover, Delaware 2014-2016

Resident Assistant

Facilitated the success of fellow students through general leadership, resource-finding, and community programs. Operated as an informal counselor, as well as an intermediate-disciplinarian.

Interfaith Mission Housing, Dover, Delaware 2015

Case Manager

Helped houseless individuals find work, draft resumes, obtain housing, access benefits, and gave psychological counselling.

Happy the App, Dover, Delaware 2015


Provided talk-therapy to App-Users and gave out suicide hotline number to those who mentioned suicidal ideations.

Grotto’s Pizza, Dover, Delaware 2015


Developed essential skills in ironing khakis, remembering pizza toppings, eating free slices of cheese pizza, sweet-talking the manger into letting me leave early, vacuuming popcorn out of a carpet, making popcorn in one of those neat little popcorn machines, blowing up balloons, popping balloons, telling people where to sit, and fixing the problems caused by telling people to sit in the wrong place.

Wesley College, Dover, Delaware 2013-2016


I cannot talk about this.

Fruit Stand, Newark, Delaware 2014


Purchased produced for ultra-cheap (e.g., corn @ $4.00 for a literal pickup truck load) at the Amish markets in Oxford and resold to the public at 3000% markup.

Dickie’s House, Newark, Delaware 2014

Home Care Provider

Fed Dickie; listened to Dickie talk about the farm; re-fed Dickie if Dickie forgot that he had already eaten; changed Dickie’s diaper; reminded Dickie that he was wearing a diaper and that it was always okay to go whenever and that it was nothing to be ashamed of; moved Dickie from the bed to the chair; read the newspaper to Dickie; occasionally brought Dickie outside so he could comment on the juniper bush; put Dickie’s shoes on his feet; reminded Dickie that the pain of putting on shoes was only momentary; scratched Dickie’s shoulder.

Mikey’s Landscaping, Northern Delaware 2014


Whacked weeds with weed whacker; weeded weeds; mowed lawns with the big ridy-boi; changed the oil in the weed-whacker; edged sidewalks and driveways; raked leaves; drank sweet iced tea provided by loving customers; moved pounds and pounds and more pounds of mulch with shovels.

Uncle Larry’s Farm, Landenberg, Pennsylvania 2013

Hay Baler

Tossed 40lb bales of hay onto other 40lb bales of hay until the haystack was complete, drove hay to other farms, sold it, and re-stacked hay into barns.

Uncle Larry’s Farm, Landenberg, Pennsylvania 2013

Exterior Barn-Painter

Applied four coats of red paint to the most porous and sun-burnt wood ya ever did seen while chewing through two tins of tobacco every day.

Papa John’s, New Castle, Delaware 2012

Delivery Driver

Delivered pizza to the people of New Castle, Delaware. Became skilled in never keeping more than $300 on self while having a Papa John’s sign on car because of potential robberies, box-folding, and pizza-topping-putting-on-ing.

United Refrigeration, Inc., New Castle, Delaware 2011-2019


Conducted HVAC supply-house sales, building maintenance, raced forklifts, customer relations, and found interesting places to hide.

Charlie’s HVAC, New Castle, Delaware 2010-2012

HVAC Technician

Trouble-shooted? Trouble-shot? Trouble-shat? idk. Figured out the problems with HVAC equipment and fixed it; installed new equipment; calculated pressure-temperature loads; CFM calculations and duct installation; and fiddled with pneumatic controls.

Joe’s Electric, New Castle, Delaware 2010


Same as above, except using strictly electrical components. Got over it quick, moved on.

Midway Softball Fields, Wilmington, Delaware 2010-2012

Between-Game Field-Fixer

Watered fields and raked dirt in-between games in multiple softball tournaments over the summers of 2010, 2011, and 2012.

Crossgates Neighborhood, Wilmington, Delaware 2005-2012

Snow-Shoveling Master

Gained mastery over the metal-tipped push/shovel combo shovel, and shoveled through about 10-15 homes every snow fall.

Neighborhood Friend, Wilmington, Delaware



Offered $1 by older neighborhood kid to punch other neighborhood kid in the mouth.

Chores, New Castle, Delaware 1996-2005

Child in household

Took out garbage, made bed, put dishes on table before dinner, etc (mostly volunteer).

Tooth-Fairy, New Castle, Delaware 1996-1998


Periodically removed enamel, dentin, and pulp from lower and upper mandibles and placed it under pillow then slept.

Activities & Interests

Enjoy writing novels, lifting weights, playing softball, and learning. Once in a while I'll pick up a paint brush. Currently, I am working on my third novel.

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